Fine — they have their own life and I have mine

I notice it and wonder if I said something wrong

I feel genuinely anxious and find it hard to focus on anything else

I know from experience that silence is often a punishment or control tactic

When I have genuinely done something wrong — not otherwise

More than I probably should — often to smooth things over

Very frequently — I often feel responsible for their moods

Constantly — I end up apologizing even when I have done nothing wrong

Yes — we both have independent social lives and that is healthy

Mostly yes, but I often check in with them or cut time short

I feel guilty being away from them even when I know I should not

Not really — they get upset, jealous, or critical when I spend time with others

They listen, take it seriously, and generally respect it

I rarely express needs — I worry about being seen as too demanding

I find it very hard to express needs at all — I fear upsetting them

They dismiss, mock, or punish me for having needs or limits

Broadly equal — we both invest proportionally

I give more — but I accept that because I care more

I give significantly more — and it sometimes exhausts me

I give almost everything — and rarely feel my effort is acknowledged

Good — they generally leave me feeling valued and energised

Mixed — I feel good when they are pleased with me and anxious when they are not

My mood depends heavily on how the interaction went

Often drained, confused, or worse about myself than before

No — they are genuinely respectful of my dignity

Occasionally through indifference — but not deliberately

Sometimes — and I tend to blame myself rather than the behaviour

Yes — through criticism, put-downs, or public humiliation

Very — I feel safe being genuine with them

I edit myself to seem more agreeable or impressive

I hold back a lot — I fear their reaction to my real thoughts

Rarely honest — honesty has previously been used against me

They are genuinely happy for me and celebrate with me

They acknowledge it, though their reaction depends on their mood

I notice I feel guilty about good things happening to me if they are struggling

They minimise it, make it about themselves, or seem bothered by my success

No — I am authentically myself and they accept that

Small things — preferences, music, opinions — to seem more compatible

Significantly — I have shaped myself around what I think they want

Yes — they have explicitly criticised or pressured me to change

I would hear them out — and honestly, no one close to me has expressed concern

I would listen but privately feel they do not understand the full picture

I would feel torn — part of me would agree, but leaving feels unthinkable

People close to me have expressed concern — and they are probably right